I know, wedding planning can seem horribly overwhelming and stressful, but it truly doesn't need to be that way. I'm going to tell you a secret that most Brides would kill to have. This is not a joke and it is not over-hyped. If someone gave you the blueprint to stress free wedding planning, would you take it? Phase 1: PURE BLISS | Phase 2: OVERWHELMING BLISS | Phase 3: EXPRESS YOUR BLISS | Phase 4: COUNTDOWN TO BLISSRead More
Your buddy/brother has just taken the plunge – he’s found the love of his life and proposed. Now he is up to his neck in china patterns, color swatches, Chicken Marsala, and checklists. He has entered a world that is foreign and, frankly, a bit scary. However, there is a silver lining – YOU!
Yes, you, the best friend, the best bud, the Best Man. Contrary to popular belief, your job is not to find the most expensive stripper and drink the most beer. Sorry! You have actually been entrusted with very important duties as the Groom’s right-hand man.
Yes, you will still have fun – really! Take pride in the fact that the Groom trusts you with such an honor. So here’s your chance to help your friend through the maze of wedding craziness and, if you follow the suggestions in this Guide, you just might make the Bride fall in love with you, too!
The Duties of the Best Man
In days of old, the Best Man was there to fight any other man or marauding tribe who may come to claim the Bride (yes, seriously). But because that doesn’t usually happen these days (thank god), you get to help the Groom with the following:
Assist the Groom with getting the Groomsmen‘s and Ushers’ measurements taken for the tuxedos.
Keep the Groom on-time and organized.
Organize the Bachelor party.
Ask the Bride and Groom what they would like you to do.
Be perceptive to the unspoken needs of the groom in the weeks before the wedding and the day of the wedding.
If you are coming in from out of town for the wedding, consider arriving by Thursday evening.
Attend ALL of the pre-wedding festivities (except bridal showers); most importantly, the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.
Be available to pick up guests from the airport or hotels, if necessary.
Help decorate the hall the night before.
Make sure that the Groom has the marriage license the day of the wedding.
Clean and decorate the get-away car.
Make sure the men of the bridal party are ready, where they should be, and on time for the ceremony, reception, and for pictures.
Guard and present the rings during the ceremony.
Assist the Groom with all of his clothing and accessories at the church and the reception.
Along with the Maid of Honor, witness the signing of the marriage license.
Act as the chauffeur to the Bride and Groom if there isn’t a professional hired.
Act as one of the hosts at the reception. Help with anything that needs to be done, dance with the ladies, and thank people for coming on behalf of the Bride and Groom.
Act as the “main security official” at the wedding. If there are any problems, you are to take care of them.
Give the first toast (Please don't be drunk, rude, or crude).
Make sure to deliver payment to all vendors (clergy, musicians, disc jockey) the day of the wedding.
Assist as needed in removing all items from the reception and cleaning up at the end of the party.
Coordinate the transportation for the Groom and Bride to their honeymoon suite or to the airport.
Return all of the tuxes the day they are due back after the wedding.
Your Financial Responsibilities
Your tuxedo and all of your accessories.
Your travel and accommodation expenses.
The bachelor party (sometimes this expense is split between all of the Groomsmen).
Your wedding gift for the Bride and Groom.
Nothing is sexier at a wedding than a man that knows what he is doing and is helpful (the tux helps too). Here is your chance!
Times have changed. Weddings are becoming bigger productions, and it is hard to get everything done. If you take the advice above to heart, you will not only help your friend immensely, but the Bride will remember it – forever! You DEFINITELY want to be on her good side. Have fun!
Here's to Bliss!
The Bachelorette Party is a rite of passage for every Bride. Some like the traditional bar night with free drinks, while others prefer a classier version of wine, cheese and lingerie. Whichever you choose to throw for your Bride, there are a few rules you need to stick by to make the evening fun and not let it cost you a friendship!
DON’T: have it the night before the wedding. A hung-over Bride is not attractive. Plus, you will all need as much beauty sleep as possible.
DON’T: have a stripper if you know that it will make the Bride or Groom uncomfortable. There are a lot of other ways you can have fun without watching a stranger take of his clothes (really!)
DON’T: look at this party as the last time to shove as much alcohol down the Bride as possible. Unfortunately, health and safety incidents can happen that may ruin the wedding and your friendship.
DON'T: Make your Bride wear a veil with condoms or penises all over it if that would mortify her. Some women just don't like that.
DO: make the occasion very special! It’s an opportunity to create memories for the Bride!
DO: keep the Bride in mind. If she would rather have a sleepover at a hotel, don’t take her out to 5 bars and force her to drink all kinds of alcohol. Remember: it’s all about her.
DO: ask the Bride who she would like invited. She may want her mom & soon-to-be mother-in-law invited. If so, plan accordingly.
DO: have a designated driver if there’s drinking – enough said.
DO: ask the Bride if cameras are allowed. She may not want photographs of intimate moments to be available.
DO: have fun! These are memories you’ll have for a lifetime – assuming you are sober enough or that they are memories that you want to remember!
Here's to Bliss!
I receive hundreds of questions from Brides and wedding planners throughout the year. I THOUGHT had heard just about everything .
Today I received a question that made me gasp. No, I mean LITERALLY gasp!
This question came from a fellow wedding planner, but I think it is good for Brides to know the answer as well. So I thought I would share it with you in all it’s glory and give my best “no-holds barred, are you serious, take the high-road”answer. Please feel free to share this with anyone. Hopefully, we can stop this kind of thinking, promote civility and get back to the real reason we are in business – TO SERVE!
Here is the Question:
“Crista, I have been a planner for 4 years now and I love all the information you put out there for us. I know that a lot of planners have problems with booking Brides or with marketing but I have a much different problem.
Every wedding I do I seem to be at war with the vendors. Even though I create the timeline and agenda, they create their own, they don’t return my phone calls and go behind my back and call the client even though they shouldn’t. How do I make it clear to them that I am in charge and they should report to me? I don’t get the respect I deserve and I am getting really frustrated. This happens at every wedding I run. How do I fix this?”
Here is the Answer:
First, I am glad you asked me this question and not someone else because I will to try to answer it gently and not respond with anger.
Second, your question is offensive to any and all professional wedding and event vendors out there; and let me explain why. Most (and I only put most because we all know there are a few vendors out there that are not up to par) of your fellow vendors are extremely good at what they do. In fact, many of them probably have more training, more blood, sweat and tears invested their business than you could ever comprehend. The fact that you expect them to cow tow to you just because you have the title, “Wedding Planner” is not only ridiculous but just plain wrong.
Your issue is not that your vendors don’t respect YOU – it is that you don’t respect your vendors. Look, wedding planners sometimes see themselves at the top of the pyramid, giving orders to the vendors beneath. This couldn’t be farther from the truth. Blissfully Simple ™ Planners (and most other professional planners) are taught the “Bottom Up” Philosophy. A good planner is at the bottom holding everyone else up. It is truly a team effort. Your Vendor team (which includes you) needs to be laser focused on helping the client have the best experience possible. There should be no struggle for the top position because there IS NO TOP POSITION.
I highly suggest you change your way of communicating with your fellow professionals. Remember, just because you have given yourself the title, “Wedding Planner” does not automatically mean people will start bowing to you and saying, “Yes Ma’am” to everything you say. In order to gain respect, you must give it. Start fresh and get to know each of them. Do research and see how much they have put into training. Read their stories. They are people just like you are and deserve respect as well.
When I plan weddings I try to get to know the vendors as well as possible. I want them to know that I am there for them in addition to the couple. If a photographer needs help corralling the Bridal party – then I do it. If the caterer needs help busing tables, then I do it. If the DJ needs help setting up, then I do it. Remember that our main goal is to SERVE and this doesn’t stop at the Bride’s feet. Stretch your personal comfort zone and change your attitude. It will do wonders for your business and it always feels better to be nice anyway. Yes, this has been some tough love, but crucial advice if you expect to grow. Good luck & behave!!”
Brides - you need a wedding planner that works well with others. Your vendor team will work tirelessly to make your day everything you imagined.
So what do you think, did I answer it correctly? Did I miss anything? I’d love to hear your responses!